Easter Ups and Downs

Happy Easter! Easter will always take me back to the days leading to my dad's passing as well as sweet, baby Rachael's death. In both instances, I received a confirmation of the truthfulness of the resurrection, the Spirit of the Holy Ghost, the gift of the Comforter and the blessing of atonement.

The day before Easter last year, I called Dad to let him know I was flying in on Easter Sunday. He said that would be great as he was busy talking to the Lord. He said they were having a great conversation, a discussion which is still a mystery to me. When I saw him on Sunday, I knew he'd been away with God as his countenance had changed since my last visit. He didn't seem so thrilled about leaving this life but I think he finally realized he had no other way to keep progressing. My sweet sisters' dreams confirm my thoughts that all is well for my father.

When Rachael was born, angels surrounded us. While she struggled at sustaining life, her voice was often speaking to my mind. Many times she would say, "It's ok, all is well." Sixteen years later, her voice still enters my mind, reminding me of the eternal nature of this life. During her transition from life to death, I had a dream where I was in a forest, dark and foreboding. I was afraid and didn't know how I could keep traveling in such darkness but I kept walking. Soon I came to a glimmer of light and as I walked toward the light, I came to a clearing, a meadow of tall grass and wild flowers. It was beautiful and warm, with a cool breeze, bringing me relief. I wondered what the clearing meant in my life. Understanding came to my mind which brought me peace. Life will have moments of darkness and fear yet if I keep on pushing along the path, I will eventually come to a peaceful, rolling meadow which will offer me respite. Of course there was another forest on the other side of the meadow but I knew I could keep going. My tenacity for getting through the tough times is a gift given during the eight short days of Rachael's life.

So with all these beautiful thoughts this Easter 2011, I have to mention the rough stuff of today. It started out at church singing beautiful songs of testimony, "I Know that My Redeemer Lives". Nursery was busy and wonderful with eleven 1-3 year olds. We've had a mom stay the last few weeks which has been such a blessing. Two extra hands with one extra heart will always be welcome. Chris had to fly to Florida so he came to nursery to say goodbye. We had a short lesson, snack time, an egg hunt and coloring page.

When we arrived home, I cooked some ham and cheesy potatoes. I had a nap and the girls got along fairly well. THEN the peace was interrupted with a stench of stinky dog. Diarrhea in a big dog is not a pleasant thing. The floors were spotted and smeared. Natalie was in melt-down mode, Eliza was disgusted and I was left to clean. Here's where I have to keep walking, even though I'd rather retreat. I sent Natalie and Scout outside so he could get hosed off. I grabbed the paper towels, the disinfectant and the mop to get the big stuff. Nat couldn't handle it so Scout was brought to the bathroom. I picked him up (70 pounds), put him in the tub and began the unpleasant work of bum cleaning. Eliza came in to sit by and support my efforts. Then the miracle happened. Eliza began cleaning the front room floors to get any spots there.

All is well, all is well. Yes, we'll still have meltdowns, diarrhea and dark forests but I will keep on the course 'til my journey's through. This is the only way and I am okay with it all.

Spring is in the Air

The sun is shining, there is a breeze in the air, the oranges are ripe and General conference was just the manna I needed to feed my soul. Nothing more today.